Post #558 - January 22, 1945 We’ll Both Look Back on Our Respective Lives and Refer to It as a Bad Dream and Your Visit to the Browns to see Anita Rae (Cute Name)

 

Jan. 22, 1945

Darling Phil,

Today your letters of Jan. 5, 13 (v-malls) and Jan. 8 came through and I don't have to tell you how terribly happy I am when I receive mail from you, dearest. Your letter of the 8th dealt with your feelings in connection with being company clerk and I wasn't surprised to learn of your feelings. I've known for quite some time that you aren't too happy with the setup, nor can it be helped. Be it as it may, we must both remember that we still have each other and that we have hopes of being together some day, which is a lot more than Fay has to think about. We’ll both look back on our respective lives and refer to it as a bad dream.

I went over to Fay's with Anne last night and we stayed till 12. Then I got back I had to help Ruth with some of her homework and never did get to bed until about 1:30. Consequently, I felt a little sick all day at work and since it is now after 11 and I still have to bathe and wash my hair I hope you'll understand if this sounds a bit muddled.

I didn't get the cigarettes or candy yet, so the package will be delayed a few more days. I got out your shoes and they are really in good condition and should serve the purpose.

Jack Nerenberg called from New York while I was at Fay’s and told Mom that his hearing is vastly improved. He promised to call me some time this week and may stop at Philly before reporting back to the Oklahoma Hospital. Today is Jack's 27th birthday and I sent him a lovely card yesterday. He refused to allow me to buy him a gift and told me to save it for when he gets out of the Army. I feel funny about it, but he was so Insistent that I hardly know what to do. I'm very happy that he is improving, for he was in terrible shape mentally and this is just that he needs.

Among other things, I received mail from Gloria and Eddie Strongin. Glo sent us a snapshot of Jack which is very good.

I shall write to the Bond Office as you suggest, for both your Nov. and Dec. bonds are way overdue. It shouldn't take this long for a bond to clear the channels, so something must be wrong. I’ll let you know how I make out.

Adele, bless her widdle heart, is a regular little darling these days and smart as a whip. She loves to imitate - oh, darling how I wish you could see her! I ask her what she's going to do when she sees daddy and she replies that she’ll say "Hello, daddy, how are you feeling” and give you a kiss. I ask her If she wants to go with me to see Daddy and she gets all excited. She should know how excited I get!

But here we are at the bottom (yeh man) and I must take my leave. I adore you, sweetheart Daddy Philip and guess you won't mind too much if I just squeeze you to bits.

Your Eve

22 January 1945

Dearest Darling, 

Sorry I didn't get a chance to write yesterday, but something came up in the evening, and I had to work. Your V-mail of 11 Jan. arrived today, and now I”m “sweating out” about six air mail letters to fill in the blank dates in January. According to today's V-mail, you, too, are looking for a “jack-pot". Hope you got it before you left for New York, Sweet. The rest of your comment was mostly about your visit to the Browns to see Anita Rae (cute name). But right in the middle of the paragraph you stuck in a few sentences that I didn't take kindly to. I refer to your volunteered info that Mickey Brown and other Cpls., husbands of your girl friends, are sending home $30-40 a month. That's all very nice - for them, and more power to them if they do (though how they do I can’t understand, considering that they only draw about $44-mo., about $38, less Class F and Class N (insurance) allotments, if they are in the states, and a total of about $49 if they are overseas), but even if you didn't exactly mean to hint that I should be able to do likewise, your opinion that "I realize fully that you have more opportunity than they do in their present state to spend money, etc. -" is entirely in error. The fact is - exactly the opposite is true! However, I make no apologies for the fact that I spend the $27-28 that is handed to me each month. Nor will I attempt to justify the manner in which of spend it. If I choose to spend a month's pay “foolishly" (according to your concepts), and remain “in the hole" for a few months as a consequence, I don't expect you to call me to task for it. If you consider that this ($28) is too big a sum to “waste", then please advise me of the fact. Tell me just how much of this total you consider unessential to my needs, and I promise you, I will send it on to you, so that you may hold up your pretty head among "every single one of the girls” - (I can't help wondering who they are) - who get *$30-40 from their “Cpl. husbands” each month! But if you, on second thought, think that $28 is not too much for me to spend each month (“foolishly” or otherwise), kindly refrain from citing what other “Cpl. husbands" do. I assure you, Sweet, that such talk, if you had no real intention of prodding me to any specific reaction, bores me to death! I dislike most heartily the type of girl (or wife) who takes pleasure in discussing such mundane matters as the money her husband sends to her. Wives who would ordinarily blanch at the thought of divulging their husband’s weekly wage to their girl friends, by your admission indulge their innate feminine conceit by bragging about how their help-mates will deprive themselves in order to send $30-40 home to them. That, my dear, is what it amounts to whatever kind of arithmetic you use (unless said husbands have other sources to bolster their incomes - such as gambling, for instance). I can't, for the life of me, admire a girl who will air the fact that her husband is so “considerate" that he will struggle along on $5-10 per month in order to send $30-40 dollars home to her. To such a one there is an obvious questions, which suggests itself: Are you so indifferent to your husband’s needs or wants that you are content (even vain) to let him thus deprive himself? Chippie, I'd hate to think that you consider that I am doing you an injustice in sending home any lesser amount than other men in the same category, but what can I think when you aim so thinly-veiled an innuendo at me? The fact that you resorted to innuendo suggests to me that you weren't very sure of the reception the “$30-40 idea" would receive. I trust I have left you in no doubt. I've deplored, on a few previous occasions, your weakness for being influenced by the assertions and actions of your friends and acquaintances. Hell, Chippie, you have a mind of your own - use it ! Now that I think of it - you were so sure you didn't want me to come home from England on furlough because the ultimate parting would be so hard to take. Yet when a few of your friends or neighbors told you that I should come home if I got the chance, it immediately set doubts in your mind. You showed this clearly in your letter discussing this subject when you closed with "I wonder—". Why the indecision, Baby? You know your own mind - your own feelings - let them dictate your speech and actions - not the minds and feelings and mouthings of others. Incidentally - about this “furlough” business that seems to be increasingly a matter for discussion back there at home—I wrote, a few days ago, and once before that, that given the opportunity to spend thirty days at home, I would refuse it. At that time the inference was that on completion of the furlough I would be sent overseas to another theater. Under those conditions, I would still prefer to "sweat it out” over here. However, if I could get a furlough from my unit (meaning, of course, that I would return to my company on completion of my leave) I would most certainly accept it. I figure the anticipation and joy of coming home would more than make up for the ultimate difficulty in separating myself from you yet once again. The parting would not be nearly so hard to take in that case, knowing to what I would be returning. I speak, naturally, only for myself. You may feel differently about it, Baby. You said, in discussing the matter, that the choice rested with me. I agree that it is my prerogative to do as I see fit, but I want you to know, Chippie, that I wouldn't consider taking such a leave if you felt it would be easier on you to wait until I come home for good, rather than suffer the parting again. So you see, darling, the ultimate choice is yours to make, in any case. Do not be deluded by all this discussion into hoping that I "know something”. Frankly, I see only the barest possibility that I will ever be given the opportunity for such a leave, but the bare possibility is enough to warrant some consideration of the matter, so that I know your decision, and know what course of action to take if the opportunity should present itself. The decision, as I have pointed out, must be the reflection of your own heart and mind-  not that of the Moms or anyone else. Think it over, Sweet, and let me know how you decide. However you decide, please trust me to understand your motives.

Well - that was quite a spiel for your usually close-mouthed hubby wasn't it? Now I'm off to the movies to see "Marriage is a Private Affair” with Lana Turner, James Craig, John Hodiak and others. Sounds interesting. Tell you about it tomorrow, honey. Until then, I am

Your ever-lovin’

Phil

P.S. Best love and kindest regards to Adele Bara, the family, and the neighbors.