March 19, 1945
Phil, dearest,
Today I hit the "real" jackpot, getting your letter, or should I say, “manuscript" of 22 pages and honestly, sweet, I was on needles all day long, as I hadn't the time to read it through. I read a snap of it going down to work, a snatch of it at work, a snatch coming home and finally, at home, I managed to get it all read. However, I want to reread it many times, so that I may absorb it fully. It makes interesting reading and is beautifully written - I'm proud of you! Really would like to comment on many phases of it, but there is so little time, especially for writing of that caliber. I love to write when I'm relaxed, and really could write reams, but I'm always so tired and busy with other "musts" that I lose patience quickly. I haven't been feeling well and am trying to rest as much as possible. I've been feeling nauseous for the past three days and attribute it to three things: Adele's not sleeping and teething, my "period"! and the unusually warm weather. When Adele doesn't sleep, I can't either and it makes it tough all around. Adele is at a stage where she wears the nerves of the strongest to a frazzle and I'm never relaxed while she is awake. I never completely relax unless she is fast asleep. At the present time her eating is poor, her sleeping is poor and she's cranky most of the time, making it difficult for both my mother and me. I’m intensely relieved that I do not have to be with Adele constantly or my nervous system would crack. You have to go through all sorts of stages, with kids and there isn't any need to tell you how happy I'll be when the “teething" part of it is over - completely,
There were also four v-mails for me from you, dearest, those of March 8, 9, 10, 11, all of which were most interesting, sweet and welcome. No, I don't mind the brevity of your letters, as long as I have them regularly to keep my spirits up. You say in one of your v-mails that you go to class for instruction in "classification" (what is that?). Your v-mail of the 9th just about reached me on our anniversary and was very loving and just the sort I felt like receiving.
I have the opportunity to get this "longie" off tonight, as I do not think I'll have much heart for anything tomorrow. Little did I dream that our "fourth” would be spent in this way, but I sort of felt it way down deep. It hurts so much to see them pass without having you - I quote from yours of the 9th, "Sometimes, Chippie, I find myself wondering if you can ever possibly know the fullest extent of my love for you - if you could ever actually feel exactly how I think about you” - It's a funny thing, baby, and it probably won't surprise you to know that I think and feel the exact same way many times, I just feel that there isn't enough to show you how much I really do love you - Phil - Words are even useless to express how deep my feelings go -
I am changing to black, for I believe it's easier to read than red. I wanted to give the red tape a break this evening. There is nothing else in any of the v-mails that inspires comment from me. I could say "oodles" about the 22 page letter, and would, if I had the time, but I want to tell you a few other things before signing off. It gives me great pleasure to know that you had such a splendid furlough and that you enjoyed yourself so thoroughly, that you made friends with people you like and who like you and that you saw so much. Need I add that I would have liked nothing better than to be with you, to enjoy it with you. I did, though, through the medium of your letter and wish to thank you for all your trouble and time spent writing it. Not receiving mail for such a long time bothered me to a great extent and I hope you understood why I was so disgusted when none showed up for such a time, I prefer the v-mails, as long as they come through regularly - enough said?
Yesterday I ended my v-mail to you with, "I am about to have my first taste of champagne". Adele sat with me on the dining room arm-chair and we ate together. I spent more time on her than I did on my dinner, as I did not want her to run about, and consequently, did not enjoy the meal as much as I thought I would. The Silvers had brought seven large rib-steaks that Rose (Goldie's stepmother) and Mom broiled for dinner. There was also peas, mashed potatoes, cole slaw, pickles, soda, vegetable soup and dessert. Champagne tastes like sour ginger ale and I think I could like it very much, once I acquired a taste for it, but I don't think it would pay me to acquire a taste for it. I even gave Adele a whee taste but she simply made a very wry face. Goldie's folks gave her a check (I don't know for what amount - she didn't say), two slips, two nightgowns and several other things for her birthday. Goldie's dad just can't do enough for her - he’d like to lay the world at her feet and probably could if given the chance. He started to cry when he had to leave and so did her brother. That's the Silver males for you. I like Rose immensely, but she's always rushing like mad and in spite of it she accomplishes a lot and looks good. He wants Goldie to come to Poughkeepsie with Diana this summer and stay a while. I never, in all my life, saw a father so devoted to his children as Mr. Silver is to his. My mother, with her small resources, has done all she could for me and my folks have been positively swell, nevertheless, I have never seen a father behave as Mr. Silver does. Even Uncle Sam is completely outshined by Mr. Silver.
Adele napped at my mother's in the afternoon, while I typed a long magilla for my mom to her attorney, concerning further settlement of the balance of the estate. It's much too complicated to discuss sensibly, so I won't attempt it. Suffice it to say that I typed for about two hours. Moreover, I had more ambition for typing at the time than I had for jumping over the moon. However, I had promised to do it for days and the attorney was waiting most patiently for it. So I "dooed" it.
After dinner, the Silvers took their leave. They trained to New York, where Mr. Silver had left his car and from New York to Poughkeepsie they drove. I took Adele upstairs straightaway for it was past seven and from seven to ten that kid just annoyed me to death. First it was "watee", then "sissy", then “milk", then "pick me up", then just plain "mommy" and so on. I couldn't understand why she wasn't sleepy, as she had arisen exceptionally early in the morning and hadn't slept most of the night. Try to figure those kids out and you'd really get a headache. By the way, Adele calls the lamps on our night tables "Mommy’s girl" and "Daddy's boy". She talks a blue streak about the doll you sent her and the fact that the doll's name is "Betty Jane". If ever you thought I could talk, honey, well I advise you not to get Adele started. She could give me a run for my money any day. Mickey and Rae came over in the evening to taste the remains of the champagne. Harry wound up the evening by buying ice-cream, pretzels and soda. When they called me down for ice-cream I had to take Adele down with me to share it, for she wouldn't stop crying. Even after I had let her have her share and play a bit, she didn't want to go up. When I finally got her into her crib, she cried some more - but she simply cried, for I refused to go up. In a few minutes all was still - blessed stillness and peace. God, what I wouldn't give for some plain ordinary peace and relaxation and rest! Maybe some day -
I spent the remainder of the evening fixing hems on Adele's three new pairs of overalls, which I described in yesterday's v-mail. The three pairs of chocolate brown, aqua and light blue gabardine cost me exactly $5.54, all totaled.
Adele hadn't a thing for every day wear and still requires many things which I intend to buy each week. It's a tough proposition trying to outfit her and myself at the same time. One of us has to do without in order for me to manage on my salary, and the only reason I have been spending so much is due to the fact that I have been making more money the past few weeks. However, I do not intend to put in any more extra time, as it is too tiring and I don't believe we'll be as busy as we were. I had to keep up with my work or I would have been snowed under with it. I'm up to date and keeping a steady pace at the moment. We're having the girl come in once a week to clean, so I have very little to do in the house these days and I'm most grateful for that.
While I was walking around with Adele on Sunday morning, I passed by Jean Levin's house and her mother called me in. I left Adele with Ruth and went in. Jean is now in France and visited the place where Eddie Strongin is located. She couldn't stay long enough to see him, but she left a note for him, saying that she had been there and told her mother to tell me about it. Her mother gave me her address and I shall write to her, when the time presents itself. I've been leaving the house about 10:30 in the morning and I don't get back till 6:45. By the time I read my mail, eat, put Adele to bed (bathe her) and get some clothes washed it is very late. Then I either write my letter and or letters, knit or try to relax before getting to bed. It's the same routine daily, without a break, unless I feel up to going out after nine in the evening, which I usually don't.
We rented our garage to Feldman, the druggist, to store his car and are asking the boy scouts to vacate, Mickey also told me something of interest to you. Remember Sol Shubert? Well, he was at Bastogne when the Germans hit and together with four other fellows hid in the woods for five days without food until they were sure of safety. Sol and the others are in hospitals in France, resting from the terrific ordeal.
It is past eleven now, sweet, and I must take my leave if I'm to have any sleep at all. I really feel like writing on and on - especially this being the eve of our fourth anniversary. I want to say all those loving things that overflow as I sit and think of "you" and "us" and our daughter and all that we've been through these many years, together and apart, I think we've both changed somewhat, if only in wisdom with the years. We shall be truly happy some day when we're together once more. Good night, dearest one, and may you soon be with us, who love you so dearly.
Your Evvie
Today I hit the "real" jackpot, getting your letter, or should I say, “manuscript" of 22 pages and honestly, sweet, I was on needles all day long, as I hadn't the time to read it through. I read a snap of it going down to work, a snatch of it at work, a snatch coming home and finally, at home, I managed to get it all read. However, I want to reread it many times, so that I may absorb it fully. It makes interesting reading and is beautifully written - I'm proud of you! Really would like to comment on many phases of it, but there is so little time, especially for writing of that caliber. I love to write when I'm relaxed, and really could write reams, but I'm always so tired and busy with other "musts" that I lose patience quickly. I haven't been feeling well and am trying to rest as much as possible. I've been feeling nauseous for the past three days and attribute it to three things: Adele's not sleeping and teething, my "period"! and the unusually warm weather. When Adele doesn't sleep, I can't either and it makes it tough all around. Adele is at a stage where she wears the nerves of the strongest to a frazzle and I'm never relaxed while she is awake. I never completely relax unless she is fast asleep. At the present time her eating is poor, her sleeping is poor and she's cranky most of the time, making it difficult for both my mother and me. I’m intensely relieved that I do not have to be with Adele constantly or my nervous system would crack. You have to go through all sorts of stages, with kids and there isn't any need to tell you how happy I'll be when the “teething" part of it is over - completely,
There were also four v-mails for me from you, dearest, those of March 8, 9, 10, 11, all of which were most interesting, sweet and welcome. No, I don't mind the brevity of your letters, as long as I have them regularly to keep my spirits up. You say in one of your v-mails that you go to class for instruction in "classification" (what is that?). Your v-mail of the 9th just about reached me on our anniversary and was very loving and just the sort I felt like receiving.
I have the opportunity to get this "longie" off tonight, as I do not think I'll have much heart for anything tomorrow. Little did I dream that our "fourth” would be spent in this way, but I sort of felt it way down deep. It hurts so much to see them pass without having you - I quote from yours of the 9th, "Sometimes, Chippie, I find myself wondering if you can ever possibly know the fullest extent of my love for you - if you could ever actually feel exactly how I think about you” - It's a funny thing, baby, and it probably won't surprise you to know that I think and feel the exact same way many times, I just feel that there isn't enough to show you how much I really do love you - Phil - Words are even useless to express how deep my feelings go -
I am changing to black, for I believe it's easier to read than red. I wanted to give the red tape a break this evening. There is nothing else in any of the v-mails that inspires comment from me. I could say "oodles" about the 22 page letter, and would, if I had the time, but I want to tell you a few other things before signing off. It gives me great pleasure to know that you had such a splendid furlough and that you enjoyed yourself so thoroughly, that you made friends with people you like and who like you and that you saw so much. Need I add that I would have liked nothing better than to be with you, to enjoy it with you. I did, though, through the medium of your letter and wish to thank you for all your trouble and time spent writing it. Not receiving mail for such a long time bothered me to a great extent and I hope you understood why I was so disgusted when none showed up for such a time, I prefer the v-mails, as long as they come through regularly - enough said?
Yesterday I ended my v-mail to you with, "I am about to have my first taste of champagne". Adele sat with me on the dining room arm-chair and we ate together. I spent more time on her than I did on my dinner, as I did not want her to run about, and consequently, did not enjoy the meal as much as I thought I would. The Silvers had brought seven large rib-steaks that Rose (Goldie's stepmother) and Mom broiled for dinner. There was also peas, mashed potatoes, cole slaw, pickles, soda, vegetable soup and dessert. Champagne tastes like sour ginger ale and I think I could like it very much, once I acquired a taste for it, but I don't think it would pay me to acquire a taste for it. I even gave Adele a whee taste but she simply made a very wry face. Goldie's folks gave her a check (I don't know for what amount - she didn't say), two slips, two nightgowns and several other things for her birthday. Goldie's dad just can't do enough for her - he’d like to lay the world at her feet and probably could if given the chance. He started to cry when he had to leave and so did her brother. That's the Silver males for you. I like Rose immensely, but she's always rushing like mad and in spite of it she accomplishes a lot and looks good. He wants Goldie to come to Poughkeepsie with Diana this summer and stay a while. I never, in all my life, saw a father so devoted to his children as Mr. Silver is to his. My mother, with her small resources, has done all she could for me and my folks have been positively swell, nevertheless, I have never seen a father behave as Mr. Silver does. Even Uncle Sam is completely outshined by Mr. Silver.
Adele napped at my mother's in the afternoon, while I typed a long magilla for my mom to her attorney, concerning further settlement of the balance of the estate. It's much too complicated to discuss sensibly, so I won't attempt it. Suffice it to say that I typed for about two hours. Moreover, I had more ambition for typing at the time than I had for jumping over the moon. However, I had promised to do it for days and the attorney was waiting most patiently for it. So I "dooed" it.
After dinner, the Silvers took their leave. They trained to New York, where Mr. Silver had left his car and from New York to Poughkeepsie they drove. I took Adele upstairs straightaway for it was past seven and from seven to ten that kid just annoyed me to death. First it was "watee", then "sissy", then “milk", then "pick me up", then just plain "mommy" and so on. I couldn't understand why she wasn't sleepy, as she had arisen exceptionally early in the morning and hadn't slept most of the night. Try to figure those kids out and you'd really get a headache. By the way, Adele calls the lamps on our night tables "Mommy’s girl" and "Daddy's boy". She talks a blue streak about the doll you sent her and the fact that the doll's name is "Betty Jane". If ever you thought I could talk, honey, well I advise you not to get Adele started. She could give me a run for my money any day. Mickey and Rae came over in the evening to taste the remains of the champagne. Harry wound up the evening by buying ice-cream, pretzels and soda. When they called me down for ice-cream I had to take Adele down with me to share it, for she wouldn't stop crying. Even after I had let her have her share and play a bit, she didn't want to go up. When I finally got her into her crib, she cried some more - but she simply cried, for I refused to go up. In a few minutes all was still - blessed stillness and peace. God, what I wouldn't give for some plain ordinary peace and relaxation and rest! Maybe some day -
I spent the remainder of the evening fixing hems on Adele's three new pairs of overalls, which I described in yesterday's v-mail. The three pairs of chocolate brown, aqua and light blue gabardine cost me exactly $5.54, all totaled.
Adele hadn't a thing for every day wear and still requires many things which I intend to buy each week. It's a tough proposition trying to outfit her and myself at the same time. One of us has to do without in order for me to manage on my salary, and the only reason I have been spending so much is due to the fact that I have been making more money the past few weeks. However, I do not intend to put in any more extra time, as it is too tiring and I don't believe we'll be as busy as we were. I had to keep up with my work or I would have been snowed under with it. I'm up to date and keeping a steady pace at the moment. We're having the girl come in once a week to clean, so I have very little to do in the house these days and I'm most grateful for that.
While I was walking around with Adele on Sunday morning, I passed by Jean Levin's house and her mother called me in. I left Adele with Ruth and went in. Jean is now in France and visited the place where Eddie Strongin is located. She couldn't stay long enough to see him, but she left a note for him, saying that she had been there and told her mother to tell me about it. Her mother gave me her address and I shall write to her, when the time presents itself. I've been leaving the house about 10:30 in the morning and I don't get back till 6:45. By the time I read my mail, eat, put Adele to bed (bathe her) and get some clothes washed it is very late. Then I either write my letter and or letters, knit or try to relax before getting to bed. It's the same routine daily, without a break, unless I feel up to going out after nine in the evening, which I usually don't.
We rented our garage to Feldman, the druggist, to store his car and are asking the boy scouts to vacate, Mickey also told me something of interest to you. Remember Sol Shubert? Well, he was at Bastogne when the Germans hit and together with four other fellows hid in the woods for five days without food until they were sure of safety. Sol and the others are in hospitals in France, resting from the terrific ordeal.
It is past eleven now, sweet, and I must take my leave if I'm to have any sleep at all. I really feel like writing on and on - especially this being the eve of our fourth anniversary. I want to say all those loving things that overflow as I sit and think of "you" and "us" and our daughter and all that we've been through these many years, together and apart, I think we've both changed somewhat, if only in wisdom with the years. We shall be truly happy some day when we're together once more. Good night, dearest one, and may you soon be with us, who love you so dearly.
Your Evvie
19 March 1945
Dearest Darling,
I am using V-mail this morning because what I have to say of my activities since I wrote yesterday can be told in a few sentences—I visited with the Marks’ the whole day. Zena, Mrs. Marks’ sister, was busily engaged in bathing Stanley in the dining-room when I walked in. Helena, who had just had her bath, was in her underwear, and looked as fresh and fragrant as a rose-bud. Carol was already dressed, and greeted me at the door like I were a long-lost uncle. She’s such a vivacious little tyke, and so sweet, that I just had to pick her up and hold her. Mark finally procured a store on the next street, so he moved his business from the front room of the house to the shop, and furnished it as a living-room. He also installed a nice piano, and Helena is taking lessons. Mrs. Marks also plays. While they were all having lunch, I fooled around in the living-room on the piano. I had eaten at the Red Cross Club. I spent the afternoon with Mark, watching him work in his new shop, and the evening and night at the house, where Mrs. Marks made me a delicious platter of fried American salami and eggs. About 9:30, two more G.I.’s dropped in. Mark had some “feelthy pictures,” which he showed around. From then on, Mark and one of the G.I.’s took turns telling dirty jokes, which both Mrs. Marks and Zena seemed to enjoy, but which made me squirm because I wasn’t accustomed to that sort of thing in mixed company. I left at 11:00 and went back to the Red Cross and turned in. This morning, I was up and dressed by 9 o’clock, got the papers, had breakfast, and proceeded to my writing. At long last I managed to get a letter off to Dr. and Mrs. Davis. I started this directly afterward. Now it’s almost time for lunch, so I’ll sign off now with all my love to you, my darling, a kiss and a hug for Adele, and my love to all the Strongins and Pallers. See you tomorrow, honey—
Lovingly,
Your Phil
